


For Him

by camillavigne96



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 01:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11636055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camillavigne96/pseuds/camillavigne96
Summary: A Malec Fanfiction based on Troye's Blue Neighborhood Trilogy MVleave kudos if you enjoy this fanfictionsister fister and brofist to y'all





	1. Blue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: you may find loads of TMI and Shadowhunters dialogue references in here (well no shaitt Sherlock xD) read and comment!

Part 1: Blue.

Magnus was sitting on one of the boulders at the edge of a cliff just above the rolling waves that kept on washing over the bottom of it. The blue sea beneath the cliff began to glow a shade of gold mirroring the sky above him that had changed color moments ago in his oblivious state toward his surrounding.

It was dusk and yet he was staring blankly at some random page of a book he had been holding in his sweaty palms for the past minutes—that he couldn’t remember how long—while waiting for Alec to come to their usual meeting place. They've been best friends since the age of nine, when Alec and his family just moved to this coastal town.

Magnus snapped out of his trance and his attention was immediately drawn toward the raven-haired boy with the most breathtaking blue eyes that resembles the blue ocean. Ten years have passed since their first encounter, but Magnus’ feelings for Alec remained the same, or so he thought until he realized that he sees Alec more than just a best friend. His stuttering fits, his ragged black hair, his constant blush, his quiet voice, his hearty laugh, and his sunny smile that could instantly lighten Magnus’ mood. These endearing traits are enough to make him forgave Alec for his clumsiness and random outbursts.

“Magnus!” Alec exclaimed between gasps as he ran across the pebbled field toward Magnus.

Magnus sighed quietly and smiled at Alec. “Alexander...”

He looked up to see Magnus who was seated on a boulder facing him with a sweet smile on his face. Alec smiled back and ran faster to get to him without breaking their eye contact, which caused him to trip on a small rock, and would have faceplanted the ground if not for his fast reflexes. His face was beet red when he heard Magnus’ muffled chuckle.

“I, uh, Izzy asked me to, um, help her with, ughh...” Alec stuttered breathlessly as soon as he was in front of Magnus. He hunched with both hands propped on his knees, still out of breath from the long run.

“Deep breaths, Alexander...” Magnus said, the smile not leaving his face.

“Huff...” finally Alec couldn’t take it anymore and sighed. He stared at his shoes, avoiding eye contact with Magnus out of embarrassment for his clumsiness.

“Okay, um... what do you want to tell me? You said it was important, so I ran here as fast as I could.” Alec said with a shy smile, his eyes back at Magnus’. His black shirt was damp with sweat.

Seeing a bead of sweat dripping from Alec's chin in his still out of breath state, Magnus swallowed then shook his head. He then remembered what he came here for and abruptly closed the book he was holding and stood up, brushing off some dust on his pants.

He hopped off of the boulder and walked toward Alec; his then sweaty palms suddenly felt dry and grew cold as he inhaled a shaky breath. When he was face to face with Alec, Magnus clenched his fists and dropped the book he held to the ground.

Alec was surprised to see what Magnus did. He knew Magnus was the type of person who always treated his books like a treasure bundle. Why had he dropped it on the dusty ground? Alec thought to himself.

They continued to stare at each other for a brief moment. Alec’s eyes questioning and full of concern at Magnus’ scared expression.

“You have to promise not to hate me or to be disgusted for what I’m about to tell you.” Magnus said and clenched his jaw.

“Huh? Magnus, what’s wrong?” Alec looked at him aghast. “Is it your dad? Did he hurt you again? Is it ba—”

“I love you.” Magnus said, his heart racing.

Alec’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing Magnus’ confession, but he tried to brush it off as Magnus’ usual flirtatious behavior. Though a voice in the back of his mind was screaming in joy, he didn’t want to get his hopes up. There’s no way Magnus meant it the way he does.

“Huh? That’s it? Of course I also, um, love you Magnus, we're be—”

“More than a friend.” Magnus interrupted.

He felt a surge of pain in his chest at how Alec responded to his confession. Magnus mentally cursed himself for always hitting on Alec in every chance he got which he always faked as a joke. But this is different, he had been nervous for the past couple of days because of this awaited moment.

Alec’s breath hitched, his mouth went dry and hung open, he suddenly felt dizzy. His face grew ten shades redder.

“Magnus, I, um, well, I, uh—by the Angel!” Alec stammered, angry at himself for his inability to form a coherent sentence in this long awaited moment of his life. His heart was beating like crazy and his mind was a mess.

Magnus averted his gaze, nails digging into his cold and trembling palms. He couldn’t make out Alec’s expression from their distance in the now dim environment and began to expect the worst.

After a prolonged moment of silence between them, Magnus sighed out loud, holding back the raging tears threatening to slip out of his eyes and turned on his heels, his book laid forgotten on the ground.

“I should probably go, goodbye Alexander.” he said without looking at Alec.

Alec snapped out of his trance when he realized Magnus was walking away from him.

“Wait!” he half-screamed.

Alec sprinted toward Magnus and caught his shoulder, turning him around. His brain still ceased to help him forming a sentence, so instead of saying anything, Alec grabbed Magnus by the collar of his shirt and yanked him toward himself.

Magnus stumbled against him, Alec slammed his lips on Magnus’ so hard that it hurt, but he didn’t care. He had never kissed anyone on the mouth before, not that he care. He kissed Magnus, hard and fast and messy and unpracticed, but with everything he had.

The only person he ever wanted to kiss this way is Magnus, and he finally did it. He could feel his heart stutter in his chest as Magnus’ confession playing on repeat in his mind and he couldn’t be happier.

Magnus’ eyes widened, he immediately kissed back. He attached his still cold palms around Alec's hips, pulling him closer, while Alec kissed him with all his might.

They finally pulled apart and Alec blinked for a moment as if just realizing what he had done. 

“You never cease to amaze me, Alexander.” Magnus whispered as Alec leaned his forehead on Magnus’.

Alec smiled, showing the crow feet by his eyes. “I...uh—by the Angel!” Alec felt like slapping himself at the moment for stuttering. He exhaled shakily and looked at Magnus’ eyes through the dimness of dusk. “I love you too...” he sucked in another shaky breath. “More than a friend.” he added hastily with the blush not leaving his cheeks.

Magnus’ pulled Alec in a crushing hug and clenched his jaw, letting the tears spilling from his eyes. “Thank God.” he whispered on Alec shoulder.

Alec snuggled into Magnus’ clothed shoulder blades and tightened his embrace on Magnus’ hips.

Magnus pulled back and looked into Alec’s eyes, smiling.

Alec wiped the trace of tears on Magnus’ cheek then pulled him in by his neck and kisses his lips, this time without any urgency, no rushing at all, just small pecks here and there. But for him, it meant the world.

"I love you, Magnus." whispered Alec.

Magnus smiled into the kiss and whispered, “I love you too.”

END of Part 1  
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Pardon the grammar and spelling errors, hope you enjoy.


	2. Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows the first MV: Wild's story line, well more or less.

Part 2: Wild.

Magnus and Alec attended the same local university; they never leave each other side. Alec often stopped by Magnus’ house, sometimes stayed the night. Four months have passed since they had officially become lovers; Magnus couldn’t attend his dream university which was away from home because of his father. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving his father who was drunk out of his mind every day, sitting all alone at the porch while looking at an old framed picture of his now incomplete family.

Eight years ago, Magnus and his parents got into a car accident, resulting in his mother’s death. Magnus still remembered his father’s smiling face when he was driving, listening and joking around with his mother. He had watched them from the backseat, smiling at his parents when a sudden crash pulled them out of their reverie.

He remembered his father’s shrill cry of agony when the paramedic announced his mother’s passed away while clutching at Magnus tiny injured body as if he was the only thing keeping him sane in the nightmarish event.

His father hadn’t been the same since; he had quit his job at the office and became a mechanic instead. It didn’t take long for his father to become overwhelmed with guilt and regret, developed his drinking habit, and started to beat Magnus for no reason in his drunken state. Whenever Magnus was beaten by his drunken father, Alec was always there for him.

***

Today Alec planned to stay the night at Magnus’ house; he had packed a few course books to bring with him. Alec purposely packed the books for Jace to see, while Izzy just smirked at him.

Jace attended college in the City, and had come back for the weekend. Of course, despite Maryse approving Alec’s leave, he needed to convince Jace about his sleepover purpose which is to study, not that it was.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jace asked for the third time, arms folded on his chest.

Alec rolled his eyes in annoyance, he could swear Jace was acting like his mother.

“I’ve told you since yesterday,” Alec huffed. “I’m going to Magnus’.” he added.

Izzy snickered and slapped Jace’s arm. Jace turned to look at her as if she was a giant rabid duck.

“What was that for, Iz?!” he exclaimed.

“You’re such a buzz kill, leave him alone for once!” she laughed, then turned to grin at Alec.

Alec rolled his eyes at his siblings and check on his phone when it buzzed.

He got a text from Magnus and smiled at his phone, ignoring Jace’s narrowed eyes. Today was the day they had been looking forward to since the beginning of their relationship.

Alec left his house with Jace following him to the front door and Izzy pulling him back inside, laughing and wriggled her perfectly shaped eyebrows at Alec.

***

“Hi Mr. Bane.” Alec greeted Magnus’ father with a smile. He was sitting on a chair at their front yard. Alec sighed quietly at the sight of a bottle of vodka in his grip, as usual. There were more bottles on the table in front of him.

Magnus’ father nodded in response, not bothering to look at him then continued to drink. Alec noticed the shards of broken glass scattered by the seat Magnus’ father had occupied. He must’ve slammed one of the bottles judging by the red bruises on his hands.

Alec placed his backpack on the front steps of Magnus’ house then took a broom and a dust pan from the backyard. He walked back to where Magnus’ father was and swept the scattered shards by his legs.

“You could get hurt.” he mumbled, cleaning the shattered shards.

Magnus’ father ignored him and muttered something under his breath, then took another gulp.

After clearing the shards, Alec headed inside Magnus’ house. He made his way to Magnus’ room on the second floor, but paused on the fifth step of the stairs and turned to the wall next to him. He stared at an old framed picture of Magnus’ family with a cheerful and smiling Magnus. Alec stroked Magnus’ younger face through the glass, Magnus hadn’t been as cheerful as he used to ever since the car accident.

Alec sighed and fixed his backpack on his shoulder then continued his stroll towards Magnus’ room.

"Magnus?" Alec called as he knocked on Magnus’ door. No answer. He mentally slapped himself for even bothering to knock on the door.

Alec opened the unlocked door and entered the room, discarding his backpack on the floor as he walked.

Suddenly, Alec heard the door slammed shut, followed by the lock clicking behind him. He smiled and turned around to find Magnus walking toward him.

“Mag—mhh!”

Magnus crashed their lips as his hands pulled Alec by the waist.

Alec snapped out of his trance and kissed him back, clutching on Magnus’ shirt.

Magnus broke the kiss and pushed Alec onto his bed and crawled on top of him.

“Hi Alexander.” he said with a sweet smile.

“What was that? Mag—mhh!” Magnus silenced him with another breathtaking kiss and Alec’s face was flushed even redder when Magnus inserts his tongue into their kiss.

Alec's vision began to spin and he suddenly felt light-headed, he no longer remembered why he came to this house, his mind at the time focused only on Magnus.

Alec propped himself on his elbow and kissed Magnus just as fiercely, his other hand moved to the back of Magnus’ neck and pulled him in, deepening the kiss.

Minutes passed and they were still making out, Alec's elbow finally gave out and he fell back on the bed, not breaking the kiss. Magnus pulled apart, giving Alec a break to catch his breath. He smiled down at him when Alec whimpered in protest.

Alec’s hands gripped on Magnus’ hair, pulling him back down.

“Eager, aren’t we?” Magnus chuckled, taking in the sight of Alec’s flushed cheeks, half-swollen lips, tousled hair, and those big blue eyes.

“Now kiss me, you fool...” Alec whispered when Magnus leaned his forehead against his.

Magnus chuckled and gave Alec’s lower lip a small peck. Alec tried to deepen the kiss, but Magnus’ lips moved to Alec's neck. Alec croaked in protest but stopped when Magnus started to suck on his neck. His mouth went dry and tried to stifle a moan when Magnus bit his pulse point then licked the bruised skin over and over again. Magnus suddenly stopped and Alec looked down to meet his eyes.

“Are you sure about this?” Magnus asked in a husky voice, worry on his face.

Alec cupped Magnus’ face as he was about to move away from him.

“Magnus, you have nothing to worry about. I want this.” he said in determination. Not really sure where this surge of confidence in his chest came from.

Magnus dove down to kiss Alec, but paused. Alec furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What is it?” Alec asked, his breath ragged.

“My father’s downstairs, maybe we—”

“One, your dad is outside.” Alec interrupted him. “And two, he couldn’t hear us. He’s drunk out of his mind.” he added.

Magnus chuckled, his breath tickling Alec’s face.

“Have you always been this bold, Alexander?” he teased.

Alec blushed and started rambling out of embarrassment. “No, um, I mean, uh, yes, prob—”

Magnus silenced him with a deep kiss. Alec's face flushed even more, if that’s even possible, and he closed his eyes, allowing Magnus to do as he pleased. Magnus smiled into the kiss and began undressing himself. Alec followed suit and took off his shirt in a hurry. Both of them laughed when they accidentally bumped their foreheads in the process.

Alec flipped them over and was now on top of Magnus. “I love you.” he whispered.

Magnus smiled, tears began pooling in his eyes. “I love you too.” he croaked.

Alec felt a pang in his chest upon seeing Magnus’ vulnerable expression. He caressed Magnus’ cheek and he immediately leaned into Alec’s touch.

“Hey,” Alec whispered, leaning his forehead down against Magnus’.

Magnus looked up at him through his long lashes, still leaning into Alec’s caressing hand on his cheek.

“I love you.” Alec repeated firmly, as if to convince Magnus out of his doubts.

He leaned down and kissed Magnus, his hands snuck around Magnus’ waist with his fingers, touching the soft bare skin he’d been longing to touch ever since he entered the room, and slid his hands up under Magnus’ pants. Magnus squirmed, then relaxed into the touch.

Magnus’ hands were caressing down Alec’s arms, over his chest then his waist, he stopped on Alec’s belt loops and pulled him closer. Magnus’ pulled apart and Alec was about to protest when he felt the soft yet burning pressure of Magnus’ lips against his throat.

Alec moaned and cupped Magnus’ face, connecting their lips once again. This time with more urgency and longing as he yanked what’s left of their clothing off.

***

It’s Monday morning, Alec and Magnus were getting ready to leave for their morning classes. Alec walked down the stairs first and passed Magnus’ father who was trotting upstairs. Alec offered him an awkward smile, remembering what he did to his son last night.

Magnus’ father noticed a small of hickey on Alec's neck despite the blue scarf wrapped around it. Then it dawned to him, what his son had done with Alec. He gritted his teeth so hard with anger and disgust that Alec heard a crunch.

“Where's Magnus?” Magnus’ father asked coldly.

Alec’s heart sank at Magnus’ father harsh tone. “He’s umm...”

Before Alec could answer, Magnus had walked down the stairs. His father stared at him with piercing gaze, but Magnus was too engulfed on looking at Alec to notice.

“Um...we should go, bye Mr. Bane.” Alec said, greeted by a freezing cold stare from Magnus’ father.

Realizing the cold stare his father gave Alec, Magnus grabbed Alec's hand to calm him down and dragged him downstairs to the front door. They’re running late for class, he didn’t have time to deal with his father’s random anger fits, Magnus thought to himself.

“Don’t worry, he’s always like that.” Magnus said with a smile and close the front door behind him.

“He is... yeah.” Alec said hesitantly.

Alec smiled and momentarily forgetting the bad feeling churning in his stomach because of Magnus’ father’s unusual behavior. Alec had known that man for years, he may be harsh and looked angry all the time, but Alec had this feeling that there’s something bothering him.

Magnus held out his hand and Alec smiled before linking their fingers together as they walked toward his car. He and Alec climbed into the car and drove off. Not noticing Magnus’ father on the balcony of their house clasping his liquor bottle with a crushing force. He threw the half empty bottle against the wall behind him, watching it shatter.

“Son of a bitch!” he growled.

END of Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pardon the grammar and spelling errors, hope you enjoy! (pls comment if u did) :p


	3. Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all know what happened on the second MV so brace yourselves :p

Part 3: Fools

After finishing their last periods, Magnus and Alec walked side by side through the hallways. 

“So,” Alec began after a moment of comfortable silence, they had arrived at the parking lot. “Want me to drop you off?” he offered.

Magnus smiled up at Alec and pulled him down for a gentle kiss. He broke off the kiss that had turned into a heavy make out session.

“As much as I wanted to,” Magnus said, out of breath from the kiss. “I think I should take the cab.” he added and Alec frowned.

Then it dawned on him what Magnus meant. “Your dad.” he muttered, head slumped down on Magnus shoulder.

Magnus wrapped his hands around Alec’s broad back. “I think he’s about to go berserk, again.” he spoke onto Alec’s clothed shoulder blade that covered his mouth from the hug. Still oblivious of what’s coming.

Alec released Magnus and gripped his shoulders. “Hey, if it gets bad, you could always come to my house.” Alec said, one of his hands moved to caress Magnus’ cheek. “You know that, right?” he added as Magnus leaned into his touch.

“Yeah...” Magnus murmured.

“Call me when you get home, okay?” Alec said, hands fixing Magnus’ jacket.

Magnus smiled in adoration at his doting boyfriend and pulled Alec by the nape for another kiss. Before Alec could deepen the kiss, Magnus pulled away, chuckling.

Alec groaned in protest and Magnus placed his index finger on Alec’s lips, earning a smile from Alec.

“Drive safe, Alexander.” Magnus said, slipping his finger down to Alec’s chest.

Alec smiled at the gesture. “I love you.” he whispered, taking Magnus’ hand in his.

Magnus smiled up at him and Alec leaned down to peck on his lips. “I know you do. Now get that pretty ass home.” Magnus said teasingly and gestured to Alec’s car.

Alec faked a hurt expression and walked backward, still holding Magnus’s hand. Alec didn’t break their eye contact, grinning while Magnus’ hand slowly slipped out of his grip. When he’s no longer holding Magnus’ hand, he smiled at him and turned around only to stumble on his own foot.

Magnus doubled over laughing, and Alec blushed in a deep shade of red. He muttered something to himself before unlocking his car and climbed in.

“Talk to you later, my dear Alexander.” Magnus teased him with a wink.

Alec blushed even more as he fastened the seatbelt. “Umm...yeah...I guess...” he stuttered.

Magnus waved at him, still smiling as Alec drove off.

His smile faded as soon as Alec was no longer in his sight and walked away, bad feeling in his guts.

***

Magnus entered his room and dropped his bag on the floor. The sinking feeling in his chest amplified the moment he entered his house. It was always quiet with only him and his father as the household, but this time was different. He couldn’t find his father anywhere.

Magnus’ trail of thought was interrupted by a loud bang of his door being ripped open. His father stood stiff with a loathing expression polished across his face, his eyes burning scars into Magnus’.

Magnus remained still, sitting stiff at the edge of his bed. Facing his father’s piercing gaze.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” his father roared, sprinting toward him.

Magnus’ breath hitched as his father grabbed the collar of his shirt with deadly force, snapping one button off.

“Don’t you feel ashamed? Huh?!” his father shouted, this time his hand yanked Magnus's collar, forcing him to stand up. He yanked Magnus's collar with both hands so the distance between their faces were thinning.

Magnus was terrified, he knew his father was always angry and beat him up for every little thing he do, but the man he was facing at the moment was different. His look was punishing and full of hatred and disgust. Then Magnus realized, his father must’ve found out about him and Alec.

“You screwed that boy? Huh? Explain yourself! NOW!” his father boomed right in his face.

Magnus's eyes widened, he suddenly forget how to breathe and started hyperventilating, his heart pounding like crazy. “Father, I—”

Magnus couldn’t finish what he was saying as he felt a burning pain on his right cheek. His father had slapped him so hard that he tumbled back into his bed.

“Are you a fag?! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself! How dare you do this to our family! Huh?!” his father roared and crawled toward where Magnus had fallen. He yanked Magnus’ now wrinkled shirt forcing him to face him.

“What would she think if she found out about this?!” his father screamed into his face, breath scented with liquor. “What’s the point of her giving birth to you if in the end you turned out like this? A fag!” he added breathlessly, face flushed red out of rage.

Magnus remained silent, tears dripping from his chin as he helplessly clutched his father’s iron solid grip on his collar. His face was a mix of fear, hurt, confusion, and mainly anger.

His father punched him in the jaw and Magnus tumbled back onto the bed again. He could only lay there, helplessly receiving the blow of punches raining down on him. Red liquid dripped from the corner of his mouth, staining his white sheet. His face was now battered, eyelids purple and lips split from the punches.

Magnus’ couldn’t fight back, he could say that he hated his father, but he was the only family Magnus have left. He loved his father as much as he hated him. Magnus’ trembling hands clasped his father’s weakly as he was about to go on another punch.

“I'm sorry father...” Magnus mumbled quietly between coughs and gasps.

His father’s hand trembled and he blinked, there’s a wave of emotion Magnus used to know flickering in his eyes but its gone as fast as it appeared. He slammed Magnus down to his bed and stood up.

He went for Magnus’ bedroom door and looked over his shoulder at Magnus. “If I ever see you with that boy again, I'll kill both of you!” He screamed and left Magnus’ room, leaving the door wide open.

Magnus lay on his bed, clutching his bruised torso. He could only hiss quietly as he tried to sit up but failed and fell back on the bed. Thinking of Alec's sweet smile he loved so much to calm himself down.

Suddenly, his heart sank as his father’s threat began to play on repeat at the back of his mind. What would happen if his father vented his anger on Alec? Magnus didn’t want to imagine it. He didn’t care whether his father break his legs or beat him up 24/7, he was terrified by the thought of his father hurting his Alexander, his dear and sweet Alexander.  
Magnus made up a decision in his mind that he knew he would regret for as long as he live, but it’s better than having his father hurting Alec.

He pulled on his hair painfully and stared blankly at the ceiling, ignoring the blood gushing out of his nose. He couldn’t bear the thought of Alec getting hurt because of him. Not in the least.

Magnus sobbed and pulled on his tousled hair harder. “Alexander...” he muttered, pained for what he was about to do. He snatched his cell phone that had fallen on the floor and texted Alec.

***

The next day, Alec went to Magnus’ house. He walked there because Izzy had begged him to lend his car to her. She was going to her high school party or something, it didn’t matter. Right now, he’s concerned about Magnus’ well being. Magnus texted him only once last night, once, which in Alec opinion was extremely strange. He never texted Alec only once, usually they would text or call each other for hours. When Alec tried to call him back, he had hung up on him the first three times and switched his phone off, so Alec knew for sure something’s happening to him. When Alec arrived at Magnus’ front yard, he saw Magnus’ father, drunk as usual.

Magnus’ father noticed Alec walking toward him and took off from his comfort zone. He trotted toward Alec with the intention none other that to beat Alec up. Magnus appeared from behind him, holding his father back. Alec smiled when he could finally see him, but the smile on his face turned into a frown and his heart sank when he noticed purple bruises all over Magnus’ body and face.

“Let me handle this, father.” Magnus said, his tone emotionless and firm, but his mind was a mess and his hands trembling.

His father paused and looked between him and Alec, and then he went back to sit on his previous spot. He glared at Alec from the distance and drank his vodka as he watched Magnus walking toward where Alec stood.

Alec frowned even more as Magnus was closing in to him. His usual beautiful face was a mess, eyes swollen as if he had cried all night, which he did, and mainly because his face and arms are bruised all over, his pretty lips now split and there’s trace of dried blood all over them. He glared at Magnus’ father then looked down at Magnus.

“By the Angel, Magnus! Your face—”

“It’s over.” Magnus said, averting his gaze from Alec’s. He couldn’t bear to look at the pain in those beautiful eyes when he was the reason for that pain.

The words tasted bitter in his mouth. Magnus may looked composed at the moment, but inside, he felt an agonizing pain drilling through his chest as if he had swallowed a bunch of nails and broken shards.

Alec gasped as his heart sank deeper, tears pooling in his eyes threatening to spill out. There must be a reason for this, his Magnus would never do this to him. He knew Magnus too well. Hell, they grew up together and had been crushing on each other for years. He promised Alec that he would never leave him, he would never do this. Never. Alec thought to himself.

The sound caused Magnus to look up at Alec and his heart broke. He fought the urge to just throw himself at Alec, hug, and kiss him, telling him everything will be alright.

But he couldn’t.

Magnus clenched his jaw and his nails dug deeper into his ice cold palms. He couldn’t take it anymore and looked away from Alec’s gaze.

Alec's tears were streaming down his face now, his lips trembling as he tried to grab Magnus’ hand but Magnus's yanked his hand away. “Mag—”

‘I love you, Alexander,’ he thought to himself as he bit his split lip, causing it to bleed again. He turned on his heels but Alec grabbed him by the arm.

“Please go away.” Magnus tried to yank his hand off, not looking at him, but Alec tightened his grip on Magnus’ arm.

Magnus suck in a shaky breath, he bit his bleeding lip so hard all he could taste was blood. With what strength left in his beat up and exhausted body, Magnus broke off from Alec grip, causing Alec to stumble back a few steps from the force.

He almost turned around to catch Alec out of habit, and then he realized he couldn’t, not with his father there, watching them like a hawk. He would never let him hurt his Alexander. Oh, the irony.

Alec balanced himself despite his wobbling legs. They locked eyes for a brief moment and Alec could see the agony in Magnus bloodshot eyes. Then, it dawned to him, what’s this all about. His dad must’ve found out about them. That could explain the unusual amount of bruises on Magnus and why he tried to shut him out. He sniffed and wiped a line of tears away, his mind was a mess. He didn’t want to lose Magnus but also hated to see him in pain. If this will stop his father from hurting him, then there’s nothing Alec could do. Alec’s willing to let him go.

“Goodbye Magnus,” Alec managed to croak out. “I love you.” he whispered quietly, enough for only Magnus to hear, and smiled bitterly. He slowly retreated, leaving Magnus.

‘I love you too.’ Magnus mentally replied and took a deep shaky breath, holding back tears as his heart crumbled.

Magnus could hear Alec's muffled sobs as he walked away from him. Magnus clenched his jaw harder, his nails sank deeper into his now bleeding palms. He turned and walked toward his father, who was smiling at him with his hands held out.

“It’s good that you understand.” his father said as he pulled Magnus into his arms.

Magnus forced himself to smile and return the hug. His father stroked his hair gently, a gesture he hadn’t received in years. Magnus heart broke for the thousandth time as he turned to look at Alec's retreating figure until he couldn’t see him anymore.

“I’m going to my room.” Magnus said as he broke off the hug.

His father nodded and went back to sit on his chair.

Magnus climbed the stairs to his room hastily and tumbled on the steps. He stared at his bleeding shin but didn’t feel anything. He stood up and went into his room and locked his door. Magnus threw himself onto his bed and broke down.

“I’m sorry...” he muttered at nothing and squeezed his eyes shut until it hurt.

***

Magnus hadn’t attended his classes for two weeks in a row, and Alec was worried sick. Did his dad beat him again? Alec thought to himself. He was sitting in a classroom, fiddling with a glittery blue pen Magnus gave him. His heart clenched as he stared at the pen, not paying attention to the professor who was pointing on the PowerPoint slide after saying something.

Magnus had changed his number, and Alec couldn’t help but think about him everyday, even after he decided to let him go, deep down he just knew that he could never do that.

His mind roamed back to their memories as a child, Magnus would always take Alec to the beach even though he couldn’t swim just because Alec loved it. Alec smiled at the memory of him teaching Magnus how to swim and remembered his smile of victory when he was finally able to swim. Then, the memory of Magnus’ pained expression as he pushed Alec away hit him like a train.

Alec stopped his trail of thoughts before he got too carried away and break down in the middle of a lesson. He patted his cheek roughly and decided to skip his next period to go check on Magnus.

***

Alec was on his way to the parking lot when his eyes landed on Magnus who was walking with a blond girl, chatting and smiling. Alec’s heart sank at the sight and felt a pang in his chest when their eyes meet. Magnus looked away almost instantly and Alec clenched his fist, still walking toward them.

Magnus walked past Alec, ignoring him. Alec’s lips trembled as his heart shattered all over again. He ran his hand through his dark locks, feeling a surge of jealousy and hurt flooding his chest. Alec dared himself to turn around just to find Magnus intertwined his finger with the girl’s, still chatting and laughing.

Alec bit his lip, holding back the tears forming in his blue eyes. He stared at Magnus’ back as the distance between them grew farther. He couldn’t take it anymore and walked away, a line of tear straying out of his eyes which he wiped away hastily.

He took a deep shaky breath and pulled out his phone from his pocket and made a call. He had been planning to do this for the past weeks and had gotten Maryse and Izzy’s approval, although Izzy was pissed at his sudden decision. With what he just witnessed, there’s nothing holding him back now.

“Alec, what's up?” Jace’s voice answered from the other end.

“I’m transferring to your University.” Alec’s voice broke at the end of his sentence.

“It’s him isn’t it? I’m going to kill that b—”

“Don’t.” Alec interrupted him, squeezing his eyes shut. Jace went silent and Alec could hear his long sigh. “Can you do the paperwork for me? Please.” he muttered.

“Alright, you know I will. You gonna be okay buddy?” Jace asked, concerned.

“Yeah, I guess... talk to you later.” Alec answered then hung up.

Alec could still hear the blond girl’s distant giggles behind him. He clenched his jaw, not bothering to look back at them and went to his car, missing Magnus' bitter gaze that landed on his back.

END of Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, sorry for any grammatical and spelling mistakes, and comment.  
> pls don't kill me, I cried writing this!


	4. Talk Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ..................................................just...read, okay?

Part 4: Talk Me Down

Six months had passed since Alec moved to the same university as Jace’s. He spent his days like most students, going to their classes, studying, doing his chores, except for the part where he had to babysit Jace.

After finishing his packed schedule, Alec got to his dorm and threw his backpack on his bed. He threw himself on the small bed and stared at the ceiling in silence. He was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of his dorm room’s door yanked open. He lazily lifted his head to look at Jace who was walking toward him. Alec frowned then sat himself up when he noticed the concern on Jace’s face.

“Jace, what’s wrong?” he asked as Jace seated himself on his own bed next to Alec’s.

Instead of answering, Jace pulled his cell phone out of his jacket pocket. “Where’s your phone?” he asked, waving his phone around.

“In my backpack,” Alec stated matter-of-factly. “Why?” he added when Jace’s expression didn’t change.

“I've been calling you many times, Alec. Why didn’t you pick up?” Jace asked, but paused when he remembered Alec’s habit of keeping his phone on vibrate and he just told him it was in his backpack, realizing his stupid question. “Ah, you know what. Don’t answer that.” he added, shaking his head.

Alec took his backpack and pulled out his cell phone. He saw dozens of missed calls, most of them are from Izzy, some from Jace, and even Maryse. Alec frowned even more and looked at Jace. “What’s happening?” Alec asked, now worried.

“Well, not to our family, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Jace said and Alec sighed in relief. “It’s Magnus’ dad.” he continued carefully, seeing the change in Alec’s demeanor.

Alec's heart sank at the mention of Magnus’ name. He gasped and his lips trembling. Magnus? What happened to him? Alec’s worried sick at the thought of something bad happening to Magnus. What did his dad do to him? Cold sweat formed on his forehead as he clutched his shirt, feeling the overtaxed beating of his heart. Yes, he still loved Magnus, heart and soul. He never had the slightest desire to be with someone else for the past six months. 

Alec had told Jace about what happened between him and Magnus, but whenever Jace heard Magnus’ name escaping Alec’s lips, he would grit his teeth in anger even after Alec explained the reason for their break up.

“It’s not Magnus, he’s okay, Alec.” Jace tried assured him, but the lump forming in Alec’s throat wouldn’t leave.

After a moment of silence, Alec dared to ask. “What happened?”

“Magnus’ dad passed away earlier today. It’s liver cancer,” Jace paused, looking at Alec horrified expression, then sighed. “Um, tomorrow is his funeral.” Jace continued as Alec's face paled.

Alec didn’t know what to say. He stared at the floor, lost in his train of thought.

“Alec?”

Alec didn’t hear what Jace said next. His thoughts roamed to Magnus’ current situation. Was he crying? Who’s with him right now? Alec knew that Magnus’ father was a violent drunk who would beat Magnus for no apparent reason, hell, the whole town folks knew about it. But even so, he was the only family Magnus had left.

Alec squeezed his eyes shut and released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a trembling hand.

“Jace, can you...” Alec began, but swallowed the rest of his sentence and broke down.

Jace frantically kneeled in front of Alec who buried his face in his palms. He took his brother’s hands away from his face and pulled him into a tight hug, patting his back gently, whispering reassuring words. His heart broke when Alec buried his face deeper into his shoulder and sobbed, clutching tightly on his shirt it might tear. Jace couldn’t stand seeing his brother like this.

“I’ll drive.” he spoke quietly as tears strayed out from his golden eyes, still patting Alec’s trembling back.

***

Alec arrived at the funeral after convincing his family that he could handle this on his own, mainly Izzy, who looked as if she was about to cry when Alec left to the funeral by himself. He saw a few people stood by a headstone with some flower bouquets surrounding it. A priest was saying a prayer while the people around him looked down and sobbing. He took another deep shaky breath and dared himself to walk toward the funeral.

Alec’s eyes were fixed on Magnus who was standing with his head down. He wanted to run and threw himself at Magnus, hug him, and assure him that everything will be okay. Alec shook the thoughts away and started walking toward the small crowd, but paused when he noticed a blonde girl standing next to Magnus, holding his hand.

As if sensing his presence, Magnus looked up, and their eyes meet. His breath hitched when Magnus smiled at him bitterly. They stared at each other until the blond girl pulled on Magnus’ hand. Alec felt like killing her right now, his lips twitched in annoyance and glared at the girl as he walked away. He’d feel better watching the funeral from the distance, where he couldn’t see the girl holding Magnus’ hand.

The priest had finished his speech and left the funeral after saying something to Magnus and patted his shoulder, followed by the mourners. Alec’s eyes moved to the blond girl who looked like she was trying to convince Magnus to go with her, but he yanked his hands off hastily and kneeled by the headstone, not even looking at her.

Alec couldn’t see Magnus’ expression; he was still looking down, ignoring the blond girl who left him alone after some failed attempts on asking him to leave with her, she looked pissed. Alec huffed in anger, how dare she treated Magnus like that? Arguing with him at his father’s funeral? What the actual hell?

When she was no longer in sight, Magnus caressed the headstone and broke down.

Alec wanted to sprint toward Magnus, to pull him into a hug and calm him down, but he decided not to do it. Magnus needed some alone time with his father who’s no longer with him. Alec strolled around the cemetery and sat next to a random headstone, a few distance away from where Magnus was. Alec stared at the grayish horizon above him blankly. He didn’t know what to feel anymore.

Alec was pulled out of his trance by a gentle tap on his shoulder. He turned around and found Magnus staring down at him, the bitter smile on his face. Alec stood up facing Magnus and they stared at each other in what felt like forever, taking in the each other’s features they had been missing so much. Alec smiled sadly and was about to say something but Magnus hung his head down, averting his gaze.

“Hey...” Alec whispered, lifting Magnus’ chin with his finger. He gently caressed the dark circles under Magnus’ puffy eyes. Magnus immediately leaned into Alec’s touch.

He was about to say something, but felt a lump in his throat after hearing Alec’s voice. He could only swallow his words and stared at Alec’s beautiful eyes with so much love and regret, he missed him so much.

They continued to stare into each other’s eyes in silence, Alec’s hand still caressing Magnus’ cheek as he leaned into the touch.

Finally, Alec couldn’t contain it anymore. He pulled Magnus into a crushing hug. Magnus immediately hugged Alec with all his might.

“I’m sorry...” Alec whispered on Magnus’ shoulder, fingers digging into his black suit.

“No, I’m sorry.” Magnus said, tearing up.

“I’ve forgiven you since it happened. I would never hate you, Magnus.” Magnus trembled in Alec’s arms when he heard Alec said his name. A wave of happiness washed over his broken heart for the first time in a long time.

Minutes passed and they were still hugging each other with no intention of stopping, releasing the pent up longing of their long separation.

Their reunion was interrupted by the blond girl who appeared out of nowhere, she looked them in disgust. Alec was the first to notice her presence and gently pulled away from the hug.

Magnus realized what was happening and stared at Alec for a brief second. He looked at the girl, then back at Alec. He smiled bitterly at Alec and went down the steps to where the girl stood. Alec was aware of her piercing glare, but couldn’t care less, he was looking at Magnus as he gracefully walked away from him.

The girl started to yell at Magnus and point her finger at his face. Magnus gritted his teeth and dragged her by the wrist as far as possible from Alec before she said something she’ll regret. He looked up to where Alec stood without saying anything and went on, leaving Alec alone in the cemetery.

Alec looked sadly at Magnus’ retreating figure, slowly fading away in the distance. The day turned to dusk, Alec sighed and turned to leave. He strolled out of the cemetery to the direction of him and Magnus’ rendezvous, a cliff by the ocean where he and Magnus kissed for the first time.

***

Alec had been running for the past ten minutes as he was closing in to his destination. His eyes caught a glimpse of a blurry silhouette standing on the steep edge of the cliff. Alec instantly recognized who it was by his spiked hair and smiled. His smile faded almost instantly as he realized what Magnus was about to do.

***

Magnus was standing at the edge of the cliff, his eyes puffy from crying too much and lack of sleep. He stared down at the rolling waves by the foot of the cliff and inhaled a shaky breath, he closed his eyes and stepped forward—

“MAGNUS!” Alec screamed frantically while sprinting toward him.

Magnus was startled upon hearing Alec calling his name and turned around to look at him. Alec immediately circled his hands around Magnus’ waist and picked him up, dragging him as far as possible from the edge of the cliff.

When they were far enough, Alec sighed and was about to set Magnus down when he stumbled on his own foot, falling on his back with a loud yelp and dragging Magnus down with him.

Magnus looked at Alec as his expression twisted in pain and panicked. “Jesus! Alexander! Are you alright!?” he tried to get off from their current position but Alec held his arm, keeping him in place.

Alec looked up at Magnus, smiling sweetly when he heard Magnus said his name, his eyes tearing up.

“You finally said my name.” he whispered then chuckled.

Magnus looked at him in disbelief. “That’s what you’re concerned about? Did you hit your head? Alexander! Let me see—”

Alec propped himself on his elbows and kissed Magnus, interrupting his concerned rambling. Alec’s head was fine, in fact, even if he hit his head on a spiky rock and bled out, he couldn’t care less.

Magnus went stiff for a second but relaxed as Alec deepened the kiss and sat himself up with Magnus on his lap. The sound of waves crashing against the rocks filled the silence as the two of them were engulfed in their own reverie. Alec pulled apart and wrapped his hands around Magnus' hips, pulling him closer and hugged him tightly.

“Don’t you ever do that again.” Alec whispered as he snuggled into Magnus’ neck. “There’s nothing more devastating than seeing you standing on the edge of that cliff.” Alec sniffed, his fingers digging into Magnus’ suit.

Magnus blinked his pooling tears away and could only hug Alec back with all his might. “I’ve only been hurting the people I love, I don’t deserve to live.” Magnus mumbled into Alec’s soft dark locks.

Alec immediately broke off the hug and pulled Magnus into another breathtaking kiss. “Don’t you ever say that again.” Alec said firmly after pulling away, looking intensely into Magnus’ eyes. “You deserve everything in this world, for all I know.” he said with a smile.

Suddenly, Alec’s smile dropped and was replaced by a frown. He averted his eyes from Magnus’.

“What is it, Alexander?” Alec’s heat skipped a beat at his name escaping Magnus’ lips in his soft velvety voice, a voice he’d missed so much. Alec pushed the thought aside and stared back into Magnus’ eyes.

“What about that girl?” Alec stressed the latter part of his question, feeling bitterness in his tongue as his heart sank, waiting for Magnus’ response.

Magnus scrunched his nose when he realized who Alec was talking about. “Don’t worry about that bi—I mean that girl.” Alec furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “I broke up with her.” Magnus added.

Alec’s jaw clenched at the thought of Magnus being with someone else and he exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Magnus noticed Alec’s change of demeanor and cupped his face with his hands, kissing him tenderly. They smiled at each other after pulling apart.

“Did you forgive him?” Alec asked, changing the uncomfortable topic as his thumb caressed Magnus’ cheek. Magnus leaned into the touch but remained silent, staring into Alec’s blue eyes.

“I think your father loved you more than anything in this world, but it wasn’t an excuse for what he did. If you forgive him, do it for yourself and not him. You can’t blame yourself for what happened,” Alec said, staring intently into Magnus’ brown eyes.

“Is that why you forgave me? For me, or you?” Magnus said, sadness in his voice.

“I forgave you because I love you and I hate being without you.” Alec stated matter-of-factly, and then smiled up at Magnus.

“I love you too.” Magnus whispered and leaned down to connect their lips.

THE END  
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did you notice what I did to the TMI: CoHF references? comment what you think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment your thoughts cuz I tortured myself writing this.  
> the MV's ending was ambiguous in my opinion, they didn't show us if the guy really jumped or nah so I'm twisting it to a happy ending, *cringe*  
> aaand that's a wrap. i'm gonna press the button now, BEEP.


End file.
